


Antics With a Crow

by Crazby



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Cutesy, Fluff, Fun, Humor, ItaNaru - Freeform, M/M, POV Crow, POV First Person, Written from a crow's perspective, oh my haven't i had fun writing it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 11:03:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15047450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazby/pseuds/Crazby
Summary: The life and times of the one and only, Itachi's crow! Follow our narrator on their journey with Itachi, Naruto and co.Through fire and ice, they'll show the world of shinobi the true power of crows!





	Antics With a Crow

**Author's Note:**

> Written for shits 'n' giggles xD

_Click_

Hello. I'm Crow. You must think "Why the hell would I read 'bout some damn crow?" Well, you see, I'm not just  _some crow_. I'm  _the crow_. And this is * caw * my story!

It starts on the day I met that bloody boy, the Uchiha. Well, it might have been  _him_  who found me, but no matter. It all ended up disastrous anyway. Those damn humans!

_Caw_

The six-year-old boy (who lets a child of six wander around alone?) signed the summoning contract with my murder. The contract was, luckily, a minor one, 'cause I wouldn't * caw * handle any more relatives. And those bloody females!

The boy whose name wasn't worth remembering advanced quickly enough to land in trouble right away. We told him to hide his intelligence, to remain anonymous in his deeds, but noooo, he wanted to "help my village and protect my cute little otouto". We all know how well  _that_ ended.

So the brat continued to train his arse off, ignorant to the wisdom of his elders (my flock). We've seen the child grow without friends till Curly came around.

"The name's Uchiha Shisui!" exclaimed the exuberant pre-teen.

My summoner examined the older child before bowing his head in a greeting, "Uchiha Itachi. An honour to meet you, Shisui-san." A few crows (me included) were scattered around, our elder being the only one to rest on the summoner's shoulder. * Caw * like I wanted to, hn.

Curly peeked at us, taking a moment to catch  _every single one_ with his gaze, before he chimed, "Your summoning animals are exceptional! And you're so young too! Sugoi!"

I liked that brat from the first sight.

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

That's about it. I only liked Curly. Come on, the brat summoner's father was a moron with a stick up his arse, his mother looked like a sex-deprived lesbian and the  _precious otouto_ was too-cheerful-too-joyful kid, exactly the perfect base for an antagonist.

_Caw_

The brat's team consisted of a fan-girl that was a tad bit too old, a bloody idiot and an envious sensei. Perfecto!

I hated the team, but I didn't hate them enough to actually wish them death. That's why I shed a tear at the "bloody idiot's" funeral.

That death also happened to be the reason for the brat summoner's sharingan awakening. And who the bloody hell was that orange bastard?

Guess only time will tell.

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

' _The snake is bad news'_  my gut told me. The way he licked his lips _is no good_ when looking at a child. I told the brat to avoid any perverts, but I swear he enjoys driving me mad! That bloody brat will get what's coming for him one day!

At least he didn't indulge himself in following the snake on his own. Mental humans.

His new team didn't last for too long – the Uchiha decided to get himself a promotion, you see. He was half the size of any other participant, without a team, and yet there he was, a newly minted Chūnin. Not that he lasted in that position for long.

_Click_

Tch, the brat got himself "promoted" to ANBU, the assassination and tactical corps. All of my murder was going crazy, no wonder! He's  _eleven_. Even  _I_ know that a human child shouldn't "entertain" himself in assassinations and such. And his parents! Weren't they supposed to protect him from those horrors? Nope, they  _encouraged_  it. What a bunch of douches.

For months all we saw was * caw * the silver-haired perv, tree-lover and Curly in a mask. They all wore masks. Even the summoner brat did, but rather than go for some privacy, he chose a  _weasel mask_. Did he want people to know his identity and status?

At least there was that one mission to keep the summoner busy and safe. In fact, it was our favorite mission and, no matter how much summoner tried to deny it, it was his too. The one that made no sense and most sense, the one all hated and loved.

Guarding the Yondaime's son.

The blond ball of sunshine was so much fun! While the guardians weren't allowed to make themselves known in his company, those rules didn't apply to ninken and summoning animals, thus resulting in the boy being suffocated by a pug and a few crows from time to time. Me included!

The boy was a pariah in his own home, always suffering in vain, but never whining. He endured like a true hero, a true shinobi.

_Caw, caw_

I definitely liked him.

(So did the Uchiha brat.)

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

Two years passed in a blur of coup planning, spying, pain, nerve depletion and graying hair. The summoner was always at loss, never following our advices. He'd continue to spy when we tell him to try and  _do something_. He'd relay the week's developments to the village elders that clearly don't value him when we tell him to look for help. He'd work himself into the ground when he should try to rest and maybe plan something non-suicidal to both his family and himself. But, of course, he'd never do that. Those damn hormones!

I'm not even talking about his otouto. The poor thing craved attention. It got to the point that the kid worshiped his Aniki and every single moment he was given with him. And what did the summoner brat do?

He * caw * ignored the poor child.

The missions got worse, way much worse. The mummy nitwit found it entertaining to destroy children and their personalities, the summoner no exception. I told him to avoid the mummy, we all did, but the brat never listens.

_Click_

At least once in a while we were appointed to the safeguard of the blond kid. The mission was usually easy - only twice did foreign nin try to harm the jinchūriki. But that was totally anticipated, plus it was ensured that the child himself never figured out he was targeted (aka the nin animals distracted him to no end while the ANBU did their respective job).

Once the "guard the Uzumaki" mission became a solo given the summoner's rank, the boys grew attached to one another. With time a bond of friendship formed between them. It was when the summoner was twelve that the Nami-  _Uzumaki_ beat the summoner to reveal his identity. It was a rather…  _particular_ situation.

That day the shift started as always, meaning the knucklehead was sound asleep till nine am. Nothing unusual. It seemed like any other day. That's why the summoner diverted his attention for a moment due to the angry mob of civilians making their way towards the blond's residence (he got done with them in an instant) and when he returned, the kid was gone. Puff. Only the empty apartment remained.

To say that the summoner terrified was to say  _nothing_. He was frozen in place after investigating the whole apartment without finding a trace of the kid. The doorknob seemed untouched, so did the windows, meaning that the Uzumaki was kidnapped by shinobi, skillful ones at that.

The Uchiha set off the alarm via his ANBU tattoo (did you really think that they are just for showing off?), the missive clear:  _the jinchūriki has been abducted, immediate back up required._  On that note the summoner set off, determined on finding the blond ball of energy he's grown attached to (no matter how much he tried to deny it).

First things first: the summoner turned on his bloody dōjutsu (yes, he used it in the apartment, finding to chakra trace) and scanned the perimeter. That's when he caught a glimpse of unknown chakra signature rushing into the direction of the outskirts of the village.

It didn't take long for the * caw * summoner to follow.

The brat always had astonishing speed. It came as no surprise. After all, he was practically apprenticed by Shunshin no Shisui. That's why, just as the enemy nin made it to the border of the village, he blocked their way and swung a kunai at one of the hostile nin.

The enemy thumped onto the ground, the kunai embedded in his skull.

The second nin – Iwa ANBU, his mind supplied due to the maroon masks with geometrical ornaments and rectangle eyeholes – launched an attack from the ground, trying to catch the summoner brat off guard.

He didn't anticipate fighting an Uchiha, though. Bad for the enemy, hehe * caw *!

The summoner jumped into the air and attached himself onto a nearby tree with chakra. With a neatly utilized Shunshin, he unsheathed his tantō and impaled the Iwa nin from behind. He shoved the tantō out just before decapitating the nin that was suffering in agony from the slash in his abdomen. Killing him was rather charitable from the summoner's side.

The last foe stood rigid as he witnessed the slaughter of his squad – maybe even friends. A boy was draped over his shoulder, a bag cover his head. Inwardly, I exhaled – at least the boy wouldn't suffer from any trauma after witnessing the bloodbath.

From my spot on the branch it was clear that the enemy was contemplating his next move. Unfortunately for him, ANBU no Konoha are famed for their speed and…  _persuasive_  methods of intelligence gathering.

The summoner only needed to catch the Uzumaki boy as another ANBU members entered the field. The one to land the blow with the senbon into the foe's neck and incapacitating him was the… I dubbed him "Senbon Guy". Original, I know.

Anyway,  _click._

The silver-haired ex-taichō relayed in ANBU sign language… something. I'm a crow, why the hell would I need to know  _ANBU sign language?_

I can assume that it was something along the lines of "take the boy home and calm him down" or something. At least that's what the summoner did.

The bundle of energy was unusually calm. That was unnerving. The summoner didn't speak to him throughout the trip, but I (along with some of my fellow nin-crows) made myself known. The bag was dispatched off as soon as the boy's residence was in sights, granting us with the sight of a frightened little boy who managed to  _stay calm_ throughout the whole ordeal, hiding his tears under the hood.

Everything went back to normal as soon as we landed in the boy's apartment. Or, in other words, he started having a  _bloody panic attack_. To say that none of us (summoner included) had any idea on how to deal with that… we were screwed.

_Caw_

The child was hyperventilating as tears streamed down his chubby cheeks. He slammed onto the floor before trying – and failing – to crawl into the corner. The dread in his eyes was  _too much_ for one his age.

His eyes were locked on the summoner.

I suppose this was to be expected. After all, he was abducted and the man in front of him was masked and clad in black, making a quite intimidating figure (his height didn't matter as long as he was taller that the Uzumaki himself). Oops. Bad move.

The summoner stood rigid, but I could  _feel_ the panic building on his side – he never had to deal with something like this (his foolish otouto didn't cause that much trouble). He turned to us (we were parched on the windowsill) desperate for help.

Being the wise creatures we are, my brother yelped the first thing that crossed his mind (he even confirmed it later on), "T-the mask! Off! It scares him!"

The Uchiha obeyed, taking the mask off without hesitation.  _Maybe_ it wasn't the smartest advice from our side… but it stopped the child, so whatever works, right?

The child stared at the summoner with his eyes wide open. He even gaped at the human behind the mask… of course the sniffles didn't stop, but that's much better.

My  _oh so brilliant brother_ decided to spice things up a bit, "Pssst… talk to him, try soothing words!" I love him.

The sniffling jinchūriki shook lightly as he took in the now speaking ANBU.

The summoner spoke gently, choosing the words slowly, "H-hi. It's okay now. The bad men are taken care of. You don't need to worry anymore." He stopped for a moment, pondering over the choice of words, "Naruto, right? I'm Itachi, a Konoha no Shinobi. See?" He pointed at his hitai-ate. "No need to worry. It's all right. It's safe. You're  _home._ "

The child visibly relaxed his shoulder and almost spotted shaking. Hesitantly, he got onto his wobbly legs and took a few steps towards the Uchiha. That's when, his voice no louder than a whisper, he asked, "A-are they really-really g-gone?"

The Uchiha nodded his head. "Yes, they are. It's fine now. I won't let them hurt you again, okay?"

The child perked up at that, but did say much. "O-okay," was all, but the tone was lighter. Not too light, not per se, but considerably better.

They stayed in silence for a while. The Uzumaki moved to the sofa while the Uchiha leaned on the wall. One of my uncles flew towards the blond and started to peck him lightly on the ear. In a moment the bundle was laughing and waving his hands.

All of us relaxed at the sight of the cheerful child.

It wasn't long till the jinchūriki spoke again, "I-Itachi-san, thanks f-for saving me." The Uchiha nodded at him, a gentle smile graced his lips. Suddenly, the grin slipped of the Uzumaki's face and he averted his gaze from the summoner's. In a whispered tone, the child asked the dreaded question – the one he feared the most. "Ano… Itachi-san, can we…" he swallowed harshly, "Can we… can we be friends?!" We blurted the last part out and squeezed his eyes shut, afraid to be met with rejection. He looked incredibly cute from my spot!

_Click_

When he slightly opened his eye, the face of a grinning Uchiha met his. His other eye opened and both widened before the Uchiha answered. "I'd be a pleasure, Naruto-kun." His grin widened and, for the first time in  _years,_ I saw true happiness in his eyes.

The Uzumaki's smile could've split his face in half. He jolted of the sofa and onto the Uchiha's neck, laughing and singing "I've got a friend~". Even the summoner giggled! I hadn't heard his laughter in… in almost forever!

That's how they stayed for the rest of the night (or till the ANBU Commander beat the shit out of the summoner for his slip-up).

That was the beginning of a charming relationship, one that's worth sharing.


End file.
